


Fireflies from Forever Ago

by michaely



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Chloe cameo!, Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, F/F, Female Friendship, Flashbacks, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, GrahamField peeps be hating, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Underage, Long-Term Relationship(s), Nature, Romantic Friendship, Self-Discovery, Sexual Identity, Star-crossed, Supernatural Elements, tiniest bit of Amberprice but obviously not the focus of the story, updated with epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaely/pseuds/michaely
Summary: "Emma isn't a person. Emma is a place that you get stuck in. Emma's a pain that you can’t erase." - Justin VernonWhat Rachel Amber knows of desire, romance, and sexuality is shaped by the summers she spends with a timeless, ageless being from the woods. An adaptation of the Yuki Midorikawa manga, Into the Forest of Fireflies' Light. An epilogue seeks to explain how Rachel became entangled with Jefferson.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**“For every life, forgo the parable.”** \- [Bon Iver, _For Emma_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjSyITsyIs&list=OLAK5uy_mAWxeOHR1Vk1QbLM81k2wTBalzXEVrtLQ)

May 2001

Rachel was six years old the first time they first met.

Following tradition, the Amber family was spending a few weeks of summer vacation at James’s timber-frame cabin in the woods outside Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

This one day, Rachel had dared to venture too far into the forest’s depths. Upon realizing that she had passed the same tree stump for about the third time, she began to search frantically for an exit. It wasn’t long until she became intensely tired. Left without the will even to move, all she could do was fall to her knees on the cold, damp grass. The tree canopy enveloped her in oppressive darkness. She wept as fear and loneliness overcame her.

And then a voice: “Little one.” The words were spoken with astounding clarity, but serene as if in a trance. The sound profoundly reverberated all around as if not carried by the air itself but instead by the mist from the morning rain.

Rachel raised her head and wiped away the tears occluding her vision. She searched around for the source of the words. From behind the mighty trunk of a great oak tree, out stepped a young woman. Her long, light brown hair was woven into a plait. She wore a white sundress of some airy fabric with robin’s egg blue pinstripes running down. Underneath the dress was a red camisole. No shoes. Skin the color of fresh cream. Her eyes were covered by a pale pink ribbon which was tied in a bow behind her head.

“Why are you crying?” The woman asked. “Are you lost?”

Rachel dipped her chin in a short nod. It was all she could manage as affirmation to the woman’s inquiry.

“I can help you,” the woman offered. She walked towards Rachel. The grass rustled underneath. She knelt down to be face to face with Rachel. In spite of the ribbon covering the woman’s eyes, Rachel somehow could still sense herself being observed and studied.

As she often did when requesting help from someone, Rachel held up her hand, expecting that the woman would take it and lead her to safety.

“Oh,” the woman recoiled a bit. “You’re a human child, yes?”

Rachel nodded again.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t be touched by a human. If a human touches me,” the woman stated with grave sincerity, “I’ll disappear.”

“You...” Rachel finally spoke in a muted tone, “You’re not human?”

“I am a being of the forest.”

Once again, Rachel found it uncanny how the woman appeared to scan her surroundings, despite the fact that her eyes were covered.

The woman went on, “The spell of the forest gives me this body. But the spell is broken with a human touch.” Her eyes settled on a humble tree branch of medium length. She picked it up. “If that happens, I disappear. To disappear means the end.” Holding on to one end of the branch, she presented the other end to Rachel. “Here. You can hold this.”

After a brief pause, Rachel reached out a timid hand to take the woman’s offering. They both get to their feet and began to walk.

As the pair made their way, Rachel almost felt as if the forest itself were transforming around them. What was before a hopeless labyrinth somehow morphed into something more accommodating and safe. How had she lost her way so badly, yet now the path seemed so straightforward and simple?

All along their course, a steady progression of fireflies gathered around the two.

“So many,” Rachel remarked quietly.

“The fireflies are the keepers of time in this forest,” the woman explained. “When they glow, they’re capturing all there is to know about this one moment in time. Meanwhile, when they shine their light on you, they pass on what they have gathered about all the past moments in time. This is how we’re knowing the way to leave.”

“Really?” Rachel replied, feeling herself sinking deeper into a soothing calm. Eventually, she has fully dispersed all her anxiety, so Rachel felt enough at ease to let out a tiny giggle.

“Something funny, little one?” the woman inquired with her own warm smile back at Rachel.

“I was thinking,” Rachel replied, “This is just like being on a date.”

The woman allowed herself a hushed laugh. “Not a very romantic one,” she pointed out in jest.

Not long thereafter, they were able to reach a clearing which signaled the end of the dense maze of trees and shrubbery.

“You should be able to find your way back from here,” the woman instructed Rachel.

Rather than turning around and being on her way, Rachel continued to fix her gaze on the woman.

“Something else the matter?” the woman asked once more.

“If I come back tomorrow,” Rachel posited, “Can we meet again?”

The woman tilted her head slightly. “I’ve already helped you find your way out. This land has its own force, its own will. Every time you set foot here, there’s a chance you’ll be lost forever. You shouldn’t come back.”

“But if you’re here, you can help me, right?”

The woman pursed her lips. She shuffled her bare feet uneasily.

“My name is Rachel Amber,” Rachel said with refreshed boldness. “I’ll be back tomorrow with a present. As a thank you.”

The woman stood stock still, but once more, Rachel felt herself being watched intently.

With nothing more left to be exchanged for now, Rachel turned away and started her trip back home.

“I’m Emma,” the woman spoke out from behind.

At this, Rachel swung back around swiftly. Emma had disappeared. A gentle gust of wind kicked up, carrying away those words she left.

* * *

Rachel walked through the open field while singing to herself a pop song that was stuck in her head those days.

_“There’s an awful lot of breathing room, but I can hardly move._

_If you’re gone--”_

“Rachel!” James Amber called out in relief.

A grin spread across Rachel’s face as she came bounding back to her father.

He scooped her delicate frame up into his strapping arms and clutched her tight. “Honey, you had me so worried. You shouldn’t go off like that on your own.”

“I know, daddy, but I’m fine now. You don’t have to worry.”

James had always admired his daughter’s precocious bravery, taking on adventures often beyond her years. Must’ve gotten it from her mother, he thought to himself. This time he couldn’t help but give a bemused chuckle. “Yes, you’re right. What’s important is you’re OK.”

Rachel grasped her dad’s hand as they started on their way back together.

“Daddy,” Rachel said, curiosity still hanging heavily on her mind, “Is it true there are spirits living in the forest?”

“Hm?” James was taken aback at the seemingly random nature of his daughter’s inquiry. “Um...well, there are the stories from people who have lived here since the old times. As a child, I sometimes felt like I could hear whispers through the leaves on hot summer nights. And come to think of it, when I was your age, there was a rumor going around of a group of kids who found a carnival in the forest. They came back with prizes and candy apples and everything. But obviously the locals here wouldn’t be holding a carnival way out there. So whose carnival could it have been? It turned into this story about how they must’ve snuck into a festival for the spirits.” James broke out into a hearty laugh. “Oh boy, how silly we were back then.”

Rachel wasn’t sure if her father had said anything more to her after this. Surely he must have, as he had always been the talkative type. But from then until the moment her eyes hung heavy with sleep that night, her mind became suddenly flooded with infinite possibilities for the world as she knew it.

**“You think me rude, but I would just stand and stare.”** \- [Owl City, _Fireflies_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWLGyeg74es)


	2. Chapter 2

**“A foxtrot above my head, a sock hop beneath my bed”** \- [Owl City, _Fireflies_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWLGyeg74es)

True to her word, Rachel returned to the entrance of the forest shortly after noon the next day. Emma wasn’t there, so Rachel took a few moments to glance around. She noticed a pair of songbirds bathing in a shallow puddle nearby. A sudden flutter of wind struck, and that was when Emma spoke again.

“You’re back.”

When Rachel caught sight of her again, it was as if Emma had never even moved from her original spot.

With a wide grin, Rachel held up the plastic bag she was clutching in her right hand. “I said I’d bring you a present.” She had snuck out some Fudgesicles from the family refrigerator. Typically her mother only let her have them after dinner. “Here. Like this.” Rachel unwrapped one of the treats and placed it into her mouth. That initial hit of chilly sweetness always made her shudder in delight.

“Well,” Emma remarked while looking up at the sky, “The sun is pretty strong today. That will probably melt out here. Let’s go somewhere a bit cooler.”

“Oh?” Rachel recalled Emma’s warning from just the past day.

“Don’t worry,” Emma responded as she turned back towards the forest. “I’ll help you find your way again.”

As the pair took the path deeper into the woods on this day, they enjoyed their frozen snacks. Rachel licked her fingers as the chocolate melted around her hands. Emma managed to keep herself a bit cleaner. Having noticed the corners of Emma’s mouth lifting up just so in a slim smile, Rachel laughed to herself.

“Why do you wear that ribbon?” Rachel asked as she took a small bite of her ice cream.

“Am I wearing one? Fascinating. I should explain to you that my appearance isn’t of my own choosing. The way I look is a reflection of how you know the world.”

Rachel pondered the purpose of this adornment.

“Why don’t you tell me something about yourself, little one?” Emma posited.

Rachel responded to this with a giggle. “Are you curious about me?”

“I came back to see you, didn’t I?”

This modest acknowledgement caused Rachel to run excitedly in circles around Emma. That smile of Emma’s grew just a little more.

Rachel went back to the forest the next day and the day after that. Days from one summer bled into days from the next. In those times, Emma led her all throughout the wilderness. The two girls chased each other in games of tag (using tree branches to touch one another). They made small boats out of leaves which they would then float down the local stream. They flew the kite that Rachel had made in third grade arts and crafts class. And sometimes they would simply lie on the spongy grass to view the clouds peeking through the treetops.

* * *

June 2004

Rachel had stepped away to pick wildflowers and was bringing back a humble bouquet of some colorful selections she was especially proud of. She was surprised upon her return to find Emma lying still on the ground. Emma’s chest rose and fell in a steady pattern that signaled her gentle breathing.

“She’s sleeping?” Rachel wondered to herself. She couldn’t think of a reason why spirits would need sleep. As Rachel stepped gingerly closer and closer, Emma still didn’t stir. Kneeling down next to her, Rachel could see one end of the ribbon flowing through the grass. She found the opportunity too tantalizing to pass up. “Is it OK if I touch her ribbon?”

Rachel reached out a wavering hand, almost expecting the ribbon to spring to life at any moment. Managing the nerve to get close enough, she then pinched the smooth fabric between her index finger and thumb. She tugged at it, gently at first just as a test for how much she could get away with. Eventually she pulled far enough to undo the knot behind Emma’s head. Rachel’s breathing continued to get shorter. She felt as if she were undressing Emma. Eventually Rachel had pulled back enough of the ribbon to where it started to slide off Emma’s left eye.

“You’re a strange one,” Emma spoke out, eyes still closed.

Despite Emma’s usual serene tone, Rachel still jumped back in fright.

Emma gave a light laugh to hopefully dispel some of Rachel’s anxiety. “Attacking me while I sleep, huh?” Emma reached out and effortlessly grabbed her ribbon again. Even without opening her eyes to look, she knew exactly where it was. She sat up and tied it back around her head. Having secured herself again, Emma turned to look at Rachel.

“Seriously,” Rachel said while still trying to catch her breath, “What’s with that ribbon?”

Emma pursed her lips for a moment, considering how best to explain her theory. “If I don’t wear it,” Emma offered, “Wouldn’t you forget I’m not human?”

That evening, Rachel was a little sullen as they took the path back out the forest. “I’m going back home tomorrow. We won’t see each other for a long time.”

She had made the same explanation to Emma at the end of vacation every year. As usual, Emma had no response.

This time, Rachel found the courage to add something else. “I’ll miss you.”

What? Still nothing from Emma?

“Will you miss me?” Rachel pushed further.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Emma finally spoke. “What is it to ‘miss’ you?”

“Like,” Rachel strained her young mind to articulate these concepts, “To feel lonely or hurt when I’m not here. Wanting me to be here when I’m not here.”

“I can’t understand that,” Emma replied, quite matter-of-factly. “For me, you’re always here, and yet you’re never here. Everything that takes place in all the time that I’ve ever existed or will ever exist, I see and feel all at once. The times when you’re with me and the times when we’re apart, all of it I can sense at exactly the same time.”

Rachel needed some time to comprehend this way of existence. “You don’t have to miss anyone.”

Emma gently shook her head.

The younger girl sighed hugely. “Lucky.”

* * *

May 2005

Emma walked through the forest at a deliberate pace. Rachel had rushed ahead a few minutes before. Emma didn’t question it, preferring instead to proceed at her usual speed.

“Boo!” Rachel called out. She was hanging upside down, her legs hooked over a thick tree branch hanging above Emma.

To Rachel’s dismay, Emma isn’t phased in the slightest.

“What are you doing?” is instead Emma’s simple response.

“I wanted to see your scared face,” whined Rachel as she climbed back up to sit atop the tree branch. “Hey, when I’m here, can you not wear your ribbon? At least sometimes? I promise I can remember you’re not human.”

Emma considered this briefly. Deciding there wasn’t much harm to it, she began to undo the knot of her ribbon. “I guess if it means so much--”

With a deafening crack, the tree branch snapped out from under Rachel, who let out a sharp yelp as she fell to the forest floor. Emma instinctively rushed over to the damsel in distress, but was just as quick to catch herself, remembering the restrictions that had long ago been placed on her. Rachel crashed hard onto the ground and laid there as she tried to catch her breath from the impact.

“I...” Emma stuttered. “I’m very sorry.”

Rachel needed a few more moments to sit up. She didn’t yet want to turn to face Emma. Emma couldn’t see Rachel’s face, but from the shuddering of Rachel’s shoulders, Emma could tell Rachel had started crying.

“Emma,” Rachel addressed her, “Don’t ever touch me.” The sobs started to hit her more intensely. “No matter what, don’t ever touch me.”

**“Seek the light. My knees are cold.”** \- [Bon Iver, _For Emma_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjSyITsyIs&list=OLAK5uy_mAWxeOHR1Vk1QbLM81k2wTBalzXEVrtLQ)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna earn that M rating today, guys. A significant factoid I need you guys to keep in mind: the Warren in my story isn't some child genius. He's just the same age as Rachel, so we're boosting him by a couple years.

**"Go find another lover to bring a--to string along"** \- [Bon Iver, ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjSyITsyIs&list=OLAK5uy_mAWxeOHR1Vk1QbLM81k2wTBalzXEVrtLQ)[_For Emma_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjSyITsyIs&list=OLAK5uy_mAWxeOHR1Vk1QbLM81k2wTBalzXEVrtLQ)

June 2008

That summer Rachel was eagerly anticipating the release of Haruki Murakami’s memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, so she had been plowing her way through the rest of his bibliography until then. She was reading Dance Dance Dance in bed while listening to Leona Lewis on her stereo.

_“Even though I really love you, I’m gonna smile ‘cause I deserve to.”_

Rose Amber stepped into her room. “Honey, we’re having tea and scones. Want some?”

“Sure.” Rachel placed her Ravenclaw bookmark into her tome and set it onto her nightstand.

As she stood up from bed, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Wearing Soffe shorts and her Fall Out Boy T-shirt, she took notice of how much her appearance had changed. She was getting taller, her legs were longer and slimmer, her hips had begun to flare out. The boys with whom she had enjoyed casual and easy friendships before were suddenly getting way more jittery around her.

On the other hand, Emma stayed ever the same. Same clothes, same hair, same skin, same fingers, lips, and toes. Rachel pondered what it would be like when she caught up to Emma’s age. What if she grew older than Emma?

“Rachel, you coming?” James called out from the dining room.

“Be right there,” Rachel replied.

As she stepped into the dining room, her father was already spreading jam on his cranberry scone. He takes a bite and sighs contentedly. “Weather was great this year, so the cranberries are especially good. It keeps going like this, though, the winter will be freezing.”

“Is it really like that?” Rachel inquired while placing a dollop of clotted cream on her pastry.

“Sweet berries, cold winter. It’s what I’ve always been told.”

While Rose poured her a cup of Darjeeling tea, Rachel’s mind turned to what would be happening here while she was gone.

* * *

On the day she was set to return to Oregon, Rachel brought Emma another gift.

Emma regarded the neatly folded bundle of fabric with some confusion. “A scarf?”

“Yep. Use it for the winter, alright?”

Deciding that this wasn’t a result of naivete regarding the physical disposition of spirits but rather a genuine caring gesture from Rachel, Emma flashed back a sincere smile. “Of course I will.”

Rachel slipped her Gucci shades over her eyes. “See you next summer.”

* * *

January 2009

One errant step set everything in motion.

Rachel remembered placing one foot on the steps leading down from the main Blackwell Campus. She remembered flying backward. And then darkness.

By the time she came to, she was greeted by the dopey yet undeniably adorable face of Warren Graham.

“Hey,” Warren called out. “You feeling OK?”

Of course it was Warren who had stayed behind to tend to her. Rachel had already known of his reputation as a tireless do-gooder.

“What...” Rachel tried to string in more words, but found her head still too woozy.

“You slipped coming down the steps. Everything’s iced over from the rain last night. You really should’ve worn your boots.” Warren rapped his knuckles on the sturdy snow boots he had on his feet.

“Ugh...” Rachel groaned as she tried to pull herself into seated position. Warren reached out a hand to guide her along the way.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Warren offered.

“I...” Rachel struggled to her feet, Warren again having to help her get all the way up. “No. I don’t want you to have to go out of your way.”

“We live, like, three houses down from each other,” a sheepish Warren informed her.

“What? Really?”

“Since third grade.”

Rachel felt some blush coming into her cheeks, couldn’t help but be embarrassed that she had never noticed him so nearby all those years.

“You should hold on,” Warren said, holding out his arm. “Wouldn’t want you to take another tumble.”

Rachel warily hooked her arm under the groove of his.

Warren went on, “I’ve been reading up on post-concussion syndrome, and it’s nasty. Did you know...”

Rachel found herself tuning out his words. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was touching someone. Her body next to another body. She was touching someone, and she didn’t have to pay one thought to breaking any spells or anyone disappearing. She was touching someone without fear or reservation. How had she been living without this for so long? Maybe anybody could’ve had this effect on her, or perhaps it was the heady scent of the aftershave Warren had clearly borrowed from his older brother (because seriously what high school freshman uses Aqua Velva?).

Before she had even realized how much time had elapsed, Rachel and Warren were already standing outside her house.

“Safe and sound,” Warren stated proudly.

Rachel could only manage a simple nod in response. She’s not quite able to meet his gaze.

“I’ll see you tomorrow in algebra.” He started on his way back to his own home.

Rachel called out to him after a few steps, “Warren.”

The boy looked back at her quizzically.

Her next few words changed everything. “Do you want to come in?”

She found it funny how he even undressed in a thoroughly considerate way. He pulled off his parka, striped sweater, white undershirt, khaki pants, boxer shorts, and gym socks, in that exact order, all with methodical precision. Then he laid these articles of clothing in a tidy bundle on top of her white desk.

He didn’t put in a bad effort, all things considered. His hands didn’t fumble too much, and when he used his mouth, Rachel didn’t feel him slobbering or being too forceful with his tongue.

Rachel ran her hand down his abdomen, but as soon as she placed her fingers around him, Warren let out a sharp gasp.

Having cleaned off her hands with some tissue, Rachel laid down next to him on top of her floral pattern sheets.

He had caught his breath by now. “I’m sorry,” he said with a pained expression.

“No, it’s OK. Really, don’t worry.”

By now both of them were bereft of anything to say to each other.

The click of the front lock could be heard.

“Shit!” Rachel exclaimed “My mom!”

Rachel scurried to her closet and hastily wrapped a spare towel around her body. She heard her mother’s footsteps up the stairs. “Hurry!” she pleaded in a whisper to Warren, who himself was scrambling to slide his slacks back on.

Rachel opened her door just enough to allow her to slip out, then shut it just as quickly behind her.

“Rachel?” Rose addressed her daughter.

“Hey, mom.” Rachel tried her best to give a casual smile. “I was just about to take a bath.”

“Um. OK.” Rose motioned to Rachel’s room. “Do you have any laundry--”

“No!”

A wide-eyed Rose stared back at Rachel.

“I mean...” Rachel anxiously tussled her strawberry blond hair. “It’s OK, I have to sort through some of it. Change in my pockets and whatnot.”

“Sure.” Rose was skeptical, but not necessarily worried enough to pry further into the situation. “I’ll start on dinner then.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Rose walked back down the stairs. Rachel made sure she had disappeared completely from sight before going back into her room.

By then Warren had gotten dressed again.

“She’s downstairs, so you’ll have to use the window,” she said to him.

With a nod, he walked over to the window and pulled it open. Before he stepped out, he turned back to her. “Should I call you or...”

“I have your number.”

“Oh. OK.” He leaned in toward her again, but Rachel swiftly turned her face away. His lips found her cheek instead.

Rachel smiled back at him apologetically.

Warren tried his best to hide his dejection. He climbed through the window and dropped down to ground level. Rachel gingerly tossed his backpack down to him.

Warren heaved one last heavy sigh before making his own way back home.

Rachel did end up getting into the bath after that. She soaked her body for a long time and ran the water extra hot.

**"I get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs."** \- [Owl City, _Fireflies_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWLGyeg74es)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I'm already pretty awkward with the steamy and the sticky, but these characters being so young, doubly challenging for me this time. Still, I'd say it's about this age when most people have their first sort of sexual experience, and you gotta believe me when I say I did my best to approach this in as least lurid of a way as possible. I definitely didn't want to be too graphic, but the discovery of sexuality is a major theme I'm trying to touch here. Y'all can let me know if I handled it delicately enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**"Running home. Running home. Running home."** \- Bon Iver, _[For Emma](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjSyITsyIs&list=OLAK5uy_mAWxeOHR1Vk1QbLM81k2wTBalzXEVrtLQ)_

June 2009

When Rachel met Emma that night, they were waiting near the creek for the first of the evening’s fireflies to come out.

The Amber family’s flight had hit some bad weather over Nebraska, which required an emergency landing in Eppley Airfield. As a result, they also missed their connecting flight in Chicago. The stressful transit-related ordeals along with the serenade of cicadas and the soothing warmth of this summer night caused Rachel to begin to nod off. If they had just been any normal couple, Rachel simply could have simply nestled her weary head in the groove of Emma’s shoulder. Rachel could have wrapped her arms around Emma’s slender waist. Emma could have placed a tender kiss atop Rachel’s head.

Could have.

Could have.

Could have.

Instead, Emma jumped back in fright. She leapt up and scampered away from Rachel. “Be careful!” she exclaimed, in far too much of a scolding tone.

Rachel snapped to attention in time to catch herself with both hands on the ground. She looked incredulously back at Emma. “You don’t have to react like that!” Rachel shot back.

“I...” Emma tugged at the ends of her ribbon, making sure the bow was fully secure. “I apologize. It’s just, you already know the rules.”

Rachel scoffed, her breath full of resentment. “And who the fuck is it that makes these rules? Who tells you that it’s this way? Is it these goddamn trees? Those motherfucking bugs?” Rachel’s breathing gets ragged as the tears come in earnest. “Or is it just some voice in your own head? Something you invented for yourself because you...” Rachel messily wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. “Because you don’t want me?”

Emma turned her gaze away from Rachel. “I don’t want anything. I don’t want anyone,” Emma confessed. “Want is a human emotion. It’s not something I can understand.”

“That’s right. Just like you don’t understand how for all these days of the year, I am DYING without you. And when I finally do get to see you again, you can’t even be bothered to pretend like you missed me.”

“I already told you, I don’t experience--”

“Yes I know!” Rachel spat out. “Blah blah blah, mystical bullshit about all of time happening all at once. But that’s not how my life is! My life is full of this pain, this incredible agony, over all this time when I can’t be with you. Do you even care about that?”

For the most fleeting of moments, Rachel felt like she could see Emma’s face begin to contort, like she just might begin to cry. Rachel had still never seen Rachel’s eyes. Could tears flow from them? For all the emotions that Emma claimed not to understand, did she have the capacity for regret?

Lacking the patience for Emma to make sense of what she was feeling, Rachel instead chose to continue, “This winter, I was with someone. A boy. And it’s not like we fell in love or anything. It’s just that I let him touch me. He touched me, and he showed me how he felt about me. That is something you will never do.” Rachel looked to Emma with pleading eyes. “Will you?” Rachel was begging for herself to be proven wrong.

Emma could only offer silence. In the emptiness of that silence, Rachel felt her future disappearing. Choking back the last of her sobs, Rachel turned away and ran from the forest as quickly as her feet would carry her. By this time in her life, she was old enough to find her own way out, yet she had never needed Emma as badly as now.

* * *

Rachel would return a few days later. She wasn’t sure how she could know that Emma would be at the creek. Maybe Emma had never left at all, never left the spot from which she now stood looking over the water.

When Rachel got closer, Emma turned to face her. Once again, even though Emma’s eyes were covered, Rachel got the sense she was being studied very closely, that Emma was trying to read her emotions.

Rachel stood next to Emma. Emma still seemed as though pondering Rachel’s feelings, attempting to decide how to approach her.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” Rachel stated point-blank. “Everyone keeps telling me it’s the hormones. It’s how I know I’m becoming a woman, they say.” She ran her fingers through her hair, sweeping the strawberry blond locks behind her ears. “I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Emma shook her head in a measured, deliberate motion. Easy enough of a response to formulate.

“Lucky,” Rachel remarked once more.

The two stood together for a little while longer. The silence is punctuated only by the chirping of nearby robins.

Rachel eventually spoke up again, “I actually had wanted to share some important news with you.”

Emma tilted her head quizzically.

“I’m graduating high school in three years. After that, I’m free. I’m gonna move here for college, and I’ll get a job here after that.” Rachel spoke with more resolution and clarity than she could ever remember. “Then I can be with you always. In fall. In winter. In spring. And in summer just like now.” Rachel took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the clean, crisp air and filling her heart with boundless hope. “Always.”

“I don’t know much about the outside world, but I don’t think there’s many chances to work as a supermodel here.” Emma recalled all the bombastic proclamations Rachel had made about her career trajectory.

“Don’t care. I know I want you above everything else.”

Emma’s smile began as something tiny, but slowly and surely spread into one of the most radiant and dazzling sights Rachel had ever been able to witness.

“Emma, I love you.”

Emma needed a deep breath to steel her will. She reached back and undid the ribbon’s knot behind her head. She let the ribbon fall down. Her eyelids delicately fluttered open, finally revealing to Rachel a set of green eyes which simultaneously lulled her into tranquility and pierced her deepest secrets. Emma raised the ribbon and placed it over Rachel’s lips. Emma walked behind Rachel and tied a knot behind Rachel’s head. Emma circled around again to stand in front of Rachel. With a motion equally swift and graceful, Emma leaned in to place a kiss against the ribbon, right at the spot directly over Rachel’s mouth.

Rachel could just barely sense the warmth from Emma’s lips. Even with so little, Rachel felt like she could live forever from that high.

* * *

Rachel had never before felt nervous about putting on makeup. She had inevitably become popular for her looks, so the whole putting on her face routine was well-practiced by now. But tonight there was a new sense of urgency, a new weight placed on getting every detail just perfect.

* * *

“So it’s true? The story my dad was telling me?”

“Yes, the spirits of the forest hold a carnival every year. They think it’s fun to imitate people from the outside. They come disguised as humans and everything.” Emma stated. “I didn’t invite you before because I thought you’d get scared.”

“No way. I’d love to go this time.”

“Then we meet at the entrance, same as always. When the first cricket begins to sing at sundown.”

* * *

Rachel met with Emma that night just as they had planned. To Rachel’s delight, Emma had kept her ribbon off and looked back at Rachel with those same amazing emerald eyes.

“I don’t want us to get lost,” Emma explained as she tied one end of her ribbon around her wrist. “Like this.” She held up her wrist to Rachel.

Rachel followed suit and tied the other end around her own wrist.

As Emma led her deeper into the woods, Rachel giggled from the sense of nostalgia. “This is just like being on a date,” she pointed out.

The memory of that conversation from eight years ago settled warmly into Emma’s mind. “Hopefully more romantic this time?”

“Much more,” Rachel responded, contentedly.

The only precursor to what Rachel saw next had been some mumbling chatter and the faint pitter-patter of feet on the soil. Once they were able to clear the last of the underbrush, a vibrant scene of celebration and merriment sprawled out before her. All the carnival staples were there. Cotton candy, games of chance, gargantuan plush toy prizes, flashing lights. Just as Emma had described, all the attendees had the appearance of humans.

“Oh!” Rachel exclaimed. “That little one has a tail,” she giggled to Emma in a hushed tone.

Emma joined in the laughter as she too caught sight of the bushy fox’s tail running down the leg of a little boy’s shorts. “Not everyone gets it perfect all the time.”

The two girls played the ring toss and dart games. They stuffed themselves with funnel cake and candy apples. They watched a performance from a quartet of contortionists. Along with all the other festivalgoers, Rachel and Emma oohed and aahed at the dazzling fireworks display.

As they walked along the river’s edge later that night, Rachel still couldn’t contain her excitement over all she had just witnessed. “Everyone went all out on their disguises. It was almost like a competition.”

“Yes it’s like that every summer.”

“And you get to experience all of it all at once?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I keep saying this to you: LUCKY!”

Rachel took a deep breath as she stared up, letting herself be entranced by the twinkling stars.

“I’ve been thinking,” Emma gently interceded. “I consider the times when we’re together and the times when we’re apart. I notice something very important that marks the difference between the two.”

“What’s that?”

“When I’m with you, I keep trying to make those moments last longer.”

A lone tear of gratitude ran down Rachel’s cheek.

“I love you too, Rachel.”

Through the mask of tears that now drenched Rachel’s face, beamed a smile of pure, unrelenting joy.

“No! Wait for me!” a shrill voice called out from behind the couple.

Before either Rachel or Emma could take a look in the direction of the voice, a toddler boy came rushing past them in a blur. Without fear or abandon, the boy started hopping along the rocks lining the edge of the water.

“Stop!” the voice belonged to a girl maybe only a few years older. “You’ll get hurt!” She was sprinting frantically to get back to him.

Sensing impending trouble, Emma deftly slipped her wrist out from the knot of the ribbon. Surely enough, the boy lost his footing on a slippery stone. Before he took a tragic tumble, Emma had caught up to him and snatched him by the wrist. Demonstrating a strength that belied her slim stature, Emma lifted the boy and planted him on his feet back on dry land.

The little girl finally made it to the boy, who seemed still not to understand the peril of the situation he was just in. “Please,” the girl breathlessly addressed the boy. “Don’t ever do that again.” After she filled up her lungs sufficiently, the girl spoke to Emma. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

“Take care, little ones.”

Rachel ran back to Emma’s side. The two children set off into the dark. Rachel kept her eyes on them until they disappeared from view.

She noticed a green flash from out the corner of her eye. From the tip of Emma’s finger where she had touched the boy, a single dot of green light began to float up. The light was blinding at first but quickly started to dim, revealing the whirring wings of a firefly. Then just as suddenly, the firefly burst into green flame and completely disintegrated. Emma held up her hand to confirm the finality of this awful truth.

“That boy...” Rachel spoke out in horror. More and more green lights floated up into the air, and more and more of Emma’s hand and soon her whole arm disappeared with them. “He was human!”

Emma collapsed to her knees, as now her feet and then her legs started to disappear as well.

“No, no! Please!” Rachel begged. She was frozen with fright. In her panic, she couldn’t know if taking hold of Emma would merely quicken the decay.

Having seemingly read Rachel’s mind, Emma threw herself, or rather what was left of her, toward Rachel. Rachel held out her arms, but by then the process had already accelerated too much. When Rachel closed her arms, she only found herself clutching her own body. She had to clamp her eyes shut to keep herself from being blinded by the intense green flashes. When the light had abated, Rachel caught sight of Emma’s white dress with the robin’s egg blue pinstripes crumbling into a dry gray ash. The ribbon still wrapped around her wrist followed along with it.

Rachel toppled over, landing on her side with a sharp thud. She released a single primal scream of severe grief into the uncaring night.

**"To ten million fireflies, I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes."** \- Owl City, [_Fireflies_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWLGyeg74es)


	5. Epilogue

April 2012

Blackwell Academy was on the verge of metamorphosis. In anticipation of the school's launching of its two-year extended senior program, the cafeteria had been temporarily converted into a convention hall of sorts. Booths had been set up so the faculty and staff could highlight the new academic options being offered to the program's participants.

Among the attendants was Rachel, today with Chloe Price in tow.

"I still don't get why anyone would want to extend their stay in this bastion of douchebaggery," Chloe said.

"Extra school experience is apparently the secret sauce to any college application these days," Rachel pointed out.

"Well, what's the point if everything is so flippin' random? I mean," Chloe flipped through a few of the course brochures Rachel had brought along, "Mediterranean Ceramics? Still Life Sketching? Contemporary Veganism? Photography?" Chloe regarded that last one with the most skepticism. "Since when are you into photography? You're total shit at Pokemon Snap."

"I am just trying to keep my options open. My resume's gonna need some razzle dazzle if I'm getting into Pepperdine." 

"Are you still going on about that school? I thought we were just gonna camp on the beach," Chloe playfully countered.

"Well, Chloe dearest," Rachel said while placing both hands on Chloe's slender hips, "I heard that their honors students get solo dorm rooms."

Chloe placed her arms on Rachel's shoulders, pulling her in a step closer. "Oh really?"

"Uh huh."

"And what about soundproof walls?"

"Oh, we can arrange something, I'm sure."

Chloe flashed a mischievous grin at Rachel, who offered her own sly wink. The two girls leaned in for a kiss.

"Ms. Price." The only one who called Chloe's name with that kind of disdain was Principal Ray Wells. "I trust you were informed that this event is only for currently enrolled Blackwell students."

"Oh my apologies if I needed permission from the Reichsfuhrer in order to cross the Berlin Wall. Heil Raymond Wells!" Chloe placed one finger across her lip to symbolize a tiny mustache while extending the other arm in a mock Nazi salute and defiantly goose-stepping in front of Wells. "Heil mein fuhrer!"

The other students nearby chuckled audibly. "Classic Chloe," remarked Justin Williams.

Wells stood unflapped with his arms crossed. "Amusing as always. But I shouldn't have to remind you that your days of performing arts glory at this establishment have long passed. Perhaps the local community center has an opening for you in their improv club."

"You know what, Ray--" Chloe started at him, but Rachel held out one hand in front of Chloe's chest.

"Chloe," Rachel tried to instill some reason back into the situation, "I really should be focusing on this. Maybe it's better if I just catch you later."

Chloe needed a moment to decide to back down. "Fine," she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Have a pleasant day, Ms. Price," Wells said as he walked away.

Chloe blew a kiss to Wells and then quickly flipped him the middle finger, a gesture that had long since become part of the intricate choreography in the dance sequence between these two rivals.

She took a deep breath to center herself again and once in a slightly better mood, turned back to Rachel. "See you at the junkyard? I'll get Chinese food."

"Do NOT bogart the eggrolls this time."

"No promises, princess." Chloe turned to leave, but not before sneaking in a swift slap to Rachel's backside.

Rachel gasped sharply in response. She tried her best to shoot daggers with her eyes at Chloe, but found the blue-haired girl's sly grin to be totally disarming. As usual. Rachel smiled back with all her affection.

As Chloe exited, Rachel surveyed her surroundings. Her eyes settled on the booth for the photography program. A middle-aged man with painstakingly coiffed choppy hair and a trendy goatee sat at the table. Victoria Chase leaned over in front of him, her miniskirt hiked up just slightly higher than normal, Rachel noticed. 

For reasons still unknown today, Rachel decided to leaf through the brochure for the photography program. Typical stuff within. Some biographical blurbs on the accomplishments of the instructor, now known to be named Mark Jefferson. A rough syllabus for the upcoming year. And a few samples of Jefferson's work.

Rachel felt like she had stared at that one photo for hours.

Her initial reaction was she must've been going out of her mind. The details were almost impossible to make out with 100 percent certainty. The image quality was something like a photocopy of a fax of a screenshot that somebody printed out from Microsoft Paint. The focal point of the photo was supposed to be this sweeping landscape shot of a lake at sunset. But Rachel fixed her attention on the silhouette of a young girl standing on the shore. The girl had turned her head sideways, as if looking back behind her. Her hair was done up in a plait. Her dress flowed down to her knees. And most intriguing of all, there was a ribbon tied behind her head, right at the level where her eyes would've been. The caption read "Lakeside, Eau Claire, WI."

Rachel was sure she hadn't thought through the decision completely. She walked over to Jefferson's booth mostly on autopilot.

Jefferson greeted her with a winning smile that showed all 32 of his teeth. "Hi, how are you?"

Rachel replied with a wary "Fine."

"You know much about photography?"

"No. Not really. Just getting started, you could say."

"Well, I'm happy to take students of all skill levels. Photography's one of those things that really brings to light the truths of the world. It's amazing what you can capture. Some of it is just unbelievable until you find it right there in front of you."

Rachel found the prospect to be increasingly tantalizing by the moment.

"So," Jefferson grabbed a pen and a signup form, holding it in front of Rachel. "Can I look forward to seeing you this fall?"


End file.
